


He Can't Keep Them

by Elvishdork



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Gender-Neutral MC - Freeform, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Other, soft smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:54:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28141965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elvishdork/pseuds/Elvishdork
Summary: Barbatos knows the terrible truth: two humans arrive in the devildom, only one human goes home.He can love them, but he can’t keep them.
Relationships: Barbatos & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 79





	He Can't Keep Them

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [You can love him, but you can’t keep him](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/727932) by J.P.. 



On paper the exchange program is very straight forward: two humans arrive, two humans attend RAD for a year, two humans go back to the human realm. Life, however, is hardly ever so straightforward. 

Barbatos knows the terrible truth: two humans arrive in the Devildom, only one human goes home. 

The complications should’ve been looked into before the program started; but the endless galaxy of possible futures is not easy to navigate. There are more possibilities and variables in the delicate interworkings of time than there are stars in the skies of all three realms. Disentangling them with his magic in order to see their outcomes takes both time and energy; doubly so for seeing the longer-lasting effects down in the distant future. 

It doesn’t help that fate tossed them the most chaotic, unpredictable human in the realm. Which is saying something considering Solomon is the other human exchange student. 

Fate and Destiny are not forces that Barbatos puts much stock into. How can he when he can manipulate the threads of time and weave events in directions as he chooses?

It starts because Diavolo has ruled that none of the exchange students can die. It would ruin the program and set back any chances at true peace. 

At first he thinks he has succeeded after Belphegor is released from the attic. It took effort to arrange the time loop in such a way that he could select the reality of them not dying after all is said and done. It appears to work, for a while at least. Spotting the long-lasting effects of an action are harder for him to see until they’re upon him though. 

Other events begin to pop up and he finds that particular human dead more times than he cares to count. Sometimes it’s because of other demons: in the hallways of RAD, in the bathroom stalls of The Fall, in a quiet part of the library, any sliver of opportunity becomes enough for some lower demon to pounce. Fortunately those deaths are the easiest to avoid, though rather annoying. They require him and Lord Diavolo to make so many detours and appearances. 

Other times it is the brothers: Lucifer’s anger, Leviathan’s fits of jealousy, Beezelbub’s hunger tantrums. So many accidents that all end the same way, devastating them all. Often Barbatos wonders if it would be easier to try to instill some fear and sense of self-preservation into this human. Anything to stop them from standing their ground to the literal rules of hell. 

Though he realizes that if it didn’t happen after they lived through Belphegor actually killing them, it’s not going to happen. A shame, really.

Barbatos’ doors are infinite and with each of their deaths he finds himself walking back into the past. Again and again he rewinds everything and collapses futures. He remembers it all and none are ever the wiser; such is the burden of his power.

It is not a burden he ever really considered until he got to know them. Over so many possible futures and realities, through keeping such a close eye on them, he did not expect to grow attached. 

He passes off knowing how they prefer their tea as living up to his role as a butler. Until it is other things and he comes to know all of their preferences and likes. From there it only grows. It becomes knowing their sense of humor, their sense of right and wrong, the right things to say to elicit a smile and laughter, how to comfort their worries, and how to brush away their moments of sadness. 

“You’ve grown fond,” Diavolo says one day, watching as Barbatos watches them in the RAD courtyard through the student council room’s windows. 

“Oh? I’m merely doing my job to watch out for their safety,” Barbatos says. But he knows that golden gleam in the prince’s eyes. Diavolo let’s him get away with the white lie and that is when he truly realizes that he has been chasing those moments with their smile. 

Repeating chunks of the year over and over again, he sees them at the same dance celebrations again and again. Slowly over the cycles they begin to approach him, asking for a dance; until it becomes as routine as their death. 

In some cycles he allows himself to indulge. He returns their affection, he allows them closer to his heart and it is a new sensation in his impossibly long life. 

He has never chased intimacy. Never before was there someone worthy. Never before was there someone worth pulling himself away from his duties to the Prince for.

How did it come to this, he’ll sometimes wonder. The long-lasting events and effects are harder for him to see; and he was not looking for himself. But soon he sees that in so many possibilities they end up together. Happy for a few blissful weeks or months until their fragil mortal life is snapped short and he has to restart again.

He restarts, remembering such affection, but they do not.

In some cycles he puts up his walls, he hardens his heart and tries to keep them at arm's length. It doesn’t last for long. The light of their soul has a way of bringing down the highest of walls and illuminating the darkest of beings it seems. 

Even with their memories wiped with each reset, he finds them gravitating towards him. It is equal parts flattering and worrying. How many times can he give them his heart only to lose them and have to earn theirs again?

He still does it again and again.

“You’ve grown fond of them,” Diavolo says at Barbatos side as they both watch them dance with Solomon. The sorcerer spares Barbatos a wink and he has to fight the urge to send his pact-holder into next Tuesday.

“I have indeed, my lord,” Barbatos admits; one of such few times he allows the prince to know the truth. Though there really is no hiding the truth from Diavolo’s golden gaze. 

“I’m sure we’ll all be sad to see them go at the end of the year,” Diavolo states. 

Barbatos does not say the terrible truth he has come to know: two humans arrive in the Devildom, but only one human goes home. And it will never be his human.

In some timelines he finds he is allowed to have them; to love them and have them love him back. There are times he can press his lips to the hymns of their pulse and bask in the light of their soul. 

Above them as the weight of their bodies sink on the bed, Barbatos can’t help but curl into their bare body. Flushed skin against flushed skin, he can feel their heartbeat against his own. 

Pressing a kiss against their pulse, he rolls his hips against theirs. His fingers squeezing the soft flesh of their thighs and his double tail loops around their ankle; anything to be closer and bask in the knowledge that they are _alive_. 

“I love you,” they whisper beneath him.

Barbatos knows by now that something will kill them in three days time. It is inevitable. He will be in one place trying to divert one death, while another finds them in his absence. A terrible split, damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. 

Rolling onto his back, he pulls them on top of him, their kiss-swollen mouth finding his. He is allowed to lick the color from their lips and pull the soft moans from their chest. He is allowed to lose himself in them. This timeline is a dead end, he knows; and still he indulges in their warmth this night before he must rewind again.

After so many resets he has come to know the truth.

The truth of the matter is simple: The Devildom is not meant for mere mortals. The realm of demons and devils is not a place magicless humans can survive in. Even the protection of the most powerful rulers of the realm is not enough to guarantee a human’s survival for a prolonged period of time. 

Barbatos is allowed to have them only for this brief time. He is allowed to love them, and have them love him back. 

The tragedy is that he is not allowed to keep them. Fate and Destiny have decreed that he is not allowed to save them.

He can live out this year on repeat for all eternity and he will never save them. 

When he finds himself walking into his room of doors once more, he finally admits defeat. He rewinds further than the Belphegor incident. He goes further back, before they ever stepped foot in the Devildom. 

He removes their application from the pile about to be given to Lucifer. Now they will never meet. He will forever love a memory, a future that will never happen now; a fading branch of possibility lost to the expanse of time. 

But they will live.

He can love them, but he can’t keep them.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Here's something for Barbatos to celebrate the undatables becoming datable! (Also something with a hint of softness because I haven't been nice to him in my other fic, lol). 
> 
> Comments and feedback always enjoyed and appreciated! ♥
> 
> * * *
> 
> This fic is inspired by a poem "You can Love Him, But You Can't Keep Him" by J.P.
>
>>   
> You love him,  
> you do,  
> and here’s the miracle:  
> he loves you too.  
> You are allowed  
> to lick off the colour from his lips  
> to listen to the hymns in his pulse  
> to bask in the sunlight of his voice
>> 
>> You are allowed  
> to have him.
>> 
>> You love each other,  
> you do,  
> and here’s the tragedy:  
> it’s not enough.  
> You are allowed  
> to watch the sun swallow him whole and burn him up  
> to stain your fingers to the bone holding him together  
> to count the constellations in his eyes as they blink out
>> 
>> You are not allowed  
> to save him.  
> 


End file.
